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Markiplier Once Said…

Hi I’m putting this here so people see. Just talked with Ethan’s mods and they said it’s not a problem for me to post clips and compilations, so no need to comment that I’m a horrible person or anything 🙂

Okay my self-esteem is so high i’m no winner in your eyes give me pie was that the bite of 87 no i grew up poor i would only be able to do this by looking in my neighbor’s window because we couldn’t afford a tv well maybe i don’t know we’re poor children now when i was a child i couldn’t afford to do easter eggs we couldn’t even afford eggs we had a chicken

But then we had to kill it for our own entertainment dude i grew up poor we used to core apples day in day out know that my family couldn’t afford to go to the beach so i never actually built the sand castle in my life i am a man who owns five ovens oh everybody my name is markiplier and welcome don’t worry little controller i won’t break you unless you deserve

To be broken same goes for all of you oh i’m sorry are we boring you are we boring amy is that me bored oh sorry yeah the same consistency so you’re just really going in with eating the corn water oh no i’m drinking it oh mineral water xanthe i have to fill it back up ah that tastes even worse watered down water thick and jesus look at her what the hell

No one told me something to inform you that ethan winters has escaped that fool heisenberg don’t let me down good god jesus christ i think it’s supposed to float i also think it’s supposed to be boiling you just uh crisp in the bottom a little bit no soggy bottoms here okay you close you’re closed okay you’re close yeah all right closed stop i’m not close

I’m coming yeah you like that you’re close you’re close you’re close you’re close you’re close i’m not gonna buy a craigslist oven i’m markiplier i ain’t gonna do that did you leave cookies and milk out for santa it’s not it’s not christmas yet i’ll do it later oh in my past i legitimately thought you meant like i’ve so pr hinges on the fact that i actually

Give a about what you’re sending me all right sour patch mr patch how are the kids i want to be very clear i am not a sour patch review channel i am the sour patch review channel so when you come knocking on my door bearing gifts they better be the best damn gifts i’ve ever eaten in my life and i’ve been disappointed before mr patch okay what do we have oh yeah

Sour patch kids wonderful regular name brand sour patch kids nothing special about these they’re a little bigger than your average kid but not even boxed up a lot of wasted plastic you know individually wrapping is not really good for the environment just saying i don’t play basketball but that’s okay not really my mix if you don’t understand what i do in my spare

Time is it mr patch just kind of bland i’m not even saying this just as a bit like i’ve been into that and usually it’s like i don’t taste any sour i’ll give this bag like a two out of ten um for two flavors both of which i don’t like look i’m not a man known for taste but these are literally a walking nightmare i can’t even look at that it hurts my eye i would

Never wear these ever unless it was a costume for a character and it doesn’t even smell like curry but hey if i ever wanted the people in the international space station to know where i am i just put these bad boys on it’s like i’m there i’m the sour patriot now where did i put now where did i put my car keys and then you can understand why i’m not a masochist oh

That’s a butt it’s a butt it’s a cat but it’s also a butt i’m seeing a butt lick seeing are you seeing a butt on that overlay a butt on top of that the two cheeks you seeing that that’s a butt hey i ain’t judging i ain’t gonna judge nobody because hey you do you and i’ll do me and we won’t do each other probably that was a good poem right there i knew it i’m

A genius god damn it my brain is so huge my brain is huge god my throbbing noggin cool my nog so throb my throb nog i have to tell the world about my throb nog hey siri call us daddy i don’t see a father in your contacts yes mother of god i am the king of five nights at freddy’s don’t tell amy don’t tell hey she’s gonna find out don’t oh hey don’t delete

Me hit me please don’t watch this video i’m gonna take my thick ass back to bed i’m gonna get an ice pack for my thick ass face and my thick ass ass and i’m just gonna i’m gonna relax and i’m gonna try to forget that this ever happens well we didn’t discuss price well you know how about how about a little i do you do you do me kind of deal it excuse me as far

As tattoos go i mean i didn’t say no eric i want to ask you a question yes what did jesus turn water into fish nope oh yeah a casual sex is crazy wrecked that chicken capital r e k t rec apostrophe d wrecked oh what’s that shiny oh good me likey shiny shiny good shiny is the best do you want shiny or you want road what you want you go a or b it multi-choice

You get choose two you can do two of those it’s two choice do that you like me like too both good option that lead to alien don’t tell nobody that lead to l.a nuke yeah every die no i i just started flubbing i’m so boned i’m boned he’s going to kill me he’s going to kill me oh my god oh god i’m boned oh god i’m boned i’m boned i’m born i’m born i’m born i’m on

Oh i’m so boned so strongly bone perhaps not yeah that’s the one you need to worry about me i just need to worry about me and don’t mind the yelling i yell when i’m nervous and that’s what we’re going to be making today i’d like to welcome to the stage uh wingus and dingus who’s ready to cream i agree melted right in oh i found gum hi amy i love you wait

No i’m trying to wave that wasn’t enough oh hi amy i love you okay welcome back to cards against humanity i’m joined by ethan and tyler that’s right we’re here yes they are introduce yourselves hi i’m ethan i’m tylor the lord of the ties i’m not lord of anything i’m just little old me

Transcribed from video
Markiplier Once Said… By Crankimoo